The Bible's first commandment. Siegfried, Roy, Montecore, Penn, and leather pants ; What's the G on the joint? ; King of the ex-Jews -- The Bible's second commandment. Pastor Shirley, my mom and dad, lesbians, and Jesus Christ ; Auto-tune, tattoos, and big fake tits -- The Bible's third commandment. Preach to me and pray for me -- please! ; You are the model? ; Agnostics : no one can know for sure but I believe they're full of shit -- The Bible's fourth commandment. Learning to fly, strip, and vomit on a 727 ; Supreme Court Justice Ron Jeremy ; I also couldn't get laid in a women's prison with a fistful of pardons ; Scuba fucking -- The Bible's fifth commandment. Sister ; Passing down the joy of not collecting stamps ; Up your Santa Claus Lane -- The Bible's sixth commandment. Why I'm a Libertarian nut instead of just a nut ; The three dogmas that hurt Americans most ; Jamie Gillis : April 20, 1943 -- February 19, 2010 ; Penn's bacon and a kiss airlines -- The Bible's seventh commandment. Pitching bullshit while in mourning -- The Bible's eighth commandment. Maybe that thief Kreskin will sue me this time ; Nixon the aristocrat -- The Bible's ninth commandment. In America, noblesse oblige isn't just for noblemen ; Would this seem crazy if you read it in a book? ; It's not the heat, it's the stupidity -- The Bible's tenth commandment. You could be Bruce Springsteen ; "Things like this don't happen to normal people" ; The greatest story ever told ; Hello dere -- Afterword. Atheism is the only real hope against terrorism : there is no god (but Allah).
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